Um, yeah. This one’s a biggie.

So, last Sunday night around 2:37 AM as I was settling in for the eve, planning to wake up and head the hour home the next day to pack for my thought-to-be-Tuesday-morning-at-6:25AM flight, more than ready to cozy up to some puffy blankets and my non-puffy man, I heard a text twinkle from my cell.

I scurried over to check the screen and BAM! Here’s what I saw:

“NW 5779 dept PIT 6:25AM on-time arvl………”

I felt like I had just pooed my pants on a platform in a public place.

Not sure how I made it, exactly. The rest of the night was one drawn out anxious blur.

I just buttoned up my dress to the tip top, took a peek in the mirror and realized… ‘Shucks, it’s all crooked.’ This happens a lot.

I don’t know what it is about them—perhaps it’s the way they ‘frame’ the large unobstructed space in which you can comfortably walk through a ‘door,’ but they typically throw me off and cause me to slam my elbow/knee/forehead/[insert body part here] into their rocklike surface, which typically causes a bruise.

Like today. 

Today, as I pulled my Ezekial bread out of the freezer and twisted off the bread tie, it angled itself against my forefinger in such a way that it rocketed into the bridge of my nose.

No one was around except the cat, and he didn’t appreciate it so much. 

So here’s the deal: I’m a klutz. Bad things happen to me. Sometimes big things, usually tiny things… Tiny things that others would probably find funny. So I’ve decided to start sharing ‘em.

I can’t believe I didn’t start this blog earlier.